Making Sense of Forgiveness: Moving from Hurt toward Hope
Digital Verbum Edition
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Overview
Clichés, glib answers, and quick solutions are shared all too often with those who are struggling to forgive or embrace forgiveness. We know Jesus calls us to forgive, but it can be hard to know what that looks like in complicated, messy relationships. Pastor and counselor Brad Hambrick helps readers to understand that forgiveness is the start of a journey that doesn’t erase the past, but honestly confronts hurt and clears the way for a hope-filled discussion on how to move toward healing.
Too often forgiveness is viewed as the culmination of a journey, but when someone says, “I forgive you,” they are not saying, “Things are all better now.” They are saying, “I have decided to relate to your offense towards me differently.” Hambrick helps readers make sense of forgiveness biblically and relationally by addressing a variety of common questions that arise when we have been hurt: Does forgiveness mean restoration of trust? Am I supposed to “forgive and forget”? What is the role of biblical wisdom and boundaries on the road to forgiveness?
Making Sense of Forgiveness speaks to those who are struggling by acknowledging the seriousness of their pain, explaining the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and helping readers understand the relationship between forgiveness and emotional freedom. The author explores the characteristics of God’s forgiveness toward us and how that shapes our own forgiveness.
Includes a foreword from lawyer, activist, and former gymnast Rachael Denhollander.
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- Helps readers understand forgiveness as the start of a journey that confronts hurt and clears the way for healing
- Addresses common questions about forgiveness, including its relationship to trust, forgetting, and boundaries
- Explores the characteristics of God’s forgiveness and how it shapes our own
- Foreword
- Introduction: A Guide to the Journey Ahead
- Section 1: Definitions and Misunderstandings
- 1. Remember, Forgiveness Begins with Pain
- 2. Five Things Forgiveness Is Not
- 3. Three Dimensions of Forgiveness
- 4. Three Things We Don’t Need to Forgive
- 5. Why We Shouldn’t Forgive Misinterpretations
- Section 2: Embracing God’s Forgiveness
- 6. God’s Forgiveness to Us: Unconditional?
- 7. “Forgive and Forget” and an Omniscient God
- 8. Intrapersonal Forgiveness: Should I Forgive Myself?
- Section 3: Wisely Extending Forgiveness
- 9. The Uncomfortable Reality: Forgiveness Is Never Deserved
- 10. Can Boundaries and Forgiveness Coexist?
- 11. Forgiveness and Manipulative Repentance
- 12. Trust As a Proportional Virtue
- 13. Identifying Wise Trust on a Spectrum
- 14. Crisis and Postcrisis Forgiveness
- 15. Remembering Well after Forgiveness
- Section 4: Embracing Forgiveness from Others
- 16. Is Embracing Forgiveness from People Harder Than from God?
- 17. Forgiveness and Shame, Not Just Guilt
- 18. The Offensiveness of God Forgiving Sins against Me
- Section 5: Moving toward What Is Commonly Called “Closure”
- 19. Forgiveness and Emotional Freedom
- 20. Love Covers a Multitude of Sins
- 21. Forgiveness and Leaving Room for the Wrath of God
- 22. Forgiveness and Protecting Other Vulnerable People
- 23. Forgiveness and Emotional Maturity: Root and Fruit
- Section 6: Avoiding Ministry Mishaps
- 24. When Discussing Parables about Forgiveness
- 25. When Discussing Narratives Involving Forgiveness
- 26. When Using Criminal or Traumatic Offenses as Illustrations of Forgiveness
- 27. Forgiveness and the Assurance of Salvation: Religious Scrupulosity
- Conclusion: The Next Chapter of Your Life
With gentleness and sensitivity to the real suffering that has taken place whenever the question of forgiveness is raised, Brad lays out a concise and comprehensive approach to understanding forgiveness and what it entails. Much as I did, you will wrestle with what forgiveness is and what it is not. With insightful reflection questions and practical steps to help wisely guide the process, Brad couples careful exegesis with day-to-day application, bringing clarity and direction to a critical concept too often mired in misunderstanding and unhelpful practices.
—Rachael Denhollander, Speaker; victim advocate; author of What Is a Girl Worth?
The practice of forgiveness is central to life as a disciple of Jesus Christ. But it is not easy, nor is it always clear how to proceed. Brad Hambrick is a trustworthy shepherd who leads us carefully through a nuanced and practical discussion of this complex topic. Whether you are a person who has been sinned against and are wrestling with forgiving the one who hurt you or an offender receiving forgiveness from the one you hurt, Brad’s biblically-saturated guide will help you take the next wise step.
—Michael R. Emlet, Dean of Faculty and counselor, Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF); author of Saints, Sufferers, and Sinners: Loving Others as God Loves Us
Extending and receiving forgiveness is sometimes like a sprint. More often it is like a marathon. Running well and finishing the race requires a well-planned strategy. It also is significantly aided by helpful companions. This book is one such companion. It is a reservoir of biblical wisdom. I cannot commend it more highly.
—Daniel L. Akin, President, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary
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